Red Neck Rosetta Stone

RePete · Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:39 pm Post subject: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

This is from a Texan friend of mine.

Texas has compiled a liberal to Texan translation directory (AKA redneck Rosetta Stone). This should be helpful for you Californians as well as you Texans and provide a chuckle for all (You need not agree!)

CALIFORNIA TEXAS
Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands Swamp
Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed Well-protected
Narrow-minded Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives Fireworks for Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass Unborn Baby
Equal Access to OpportunitySocialism
Multicultural Community High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich " Self-Employed
Progressive, Change Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle Deer Rifle w/Scope
Investment For the Future Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater Conservative
Truants Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine Standard Magazine
Religious Zealot Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich " Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby NRA Members
Assault Weapon Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

Ominivision1 · Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:38 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

I like the translation.

stovepipe · Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:51 am Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

Welcome to my world (hell).

slimjim · Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:21 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

Sorry, great place to visit but I ...

stovepipe · Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:46 am Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

What? you wouldn't wana live where you cant buy a light bulb but you can buy pot in almost any store in Venice? Where the women dont shower or shave their pits and are more manly than the men? Where speaking English is almost illegal and will get you nowhere and to get any kind of service ya need to speak some latin or middle eastern dialect?

Aw comon.

It aint even a nice place to visit.

radar · Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:59 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

Move you silly buggar!. LOL

stovepipe · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:38 am Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

2.5 more years, bills are paid, home is sold. I'll ahve zero overhead.

Then I'm movin' into bushy's barn.

Bushmaster · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:48 am Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

Bring a shovel...

stovepipe · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:06 am Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

An' mah muckers too.... I kin shovel my weight in apples every 5 mins.

OntheLasGallinas · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:13 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

In my part of the state, that's a mild translation! In the brush, we're a little more politically incorrect.

Good to see y'all are still having fun!

Cary

Bushmaster · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:17 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

Whooooop!!! Thought the pigs gotcha. Good to see that you have not lost that war [or have you?]....

stovepipe · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:17 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

hi Cary!

Thought the same thing myself. Me n' Wiersy need to come over fer a pistols-on-the-porch-pig-poppin' fest.

OntheLasGallinas · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:50 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

No more pigs......for the time being. Brought in some hog dogs in and a couple of blood thirsty nephews, and gave them hell twice a week for about 6 weeks and they left. I'm sure that they'll be back, but at least I got the satisfaction of a little pay-back.

As far as the war.....well....you win a few and you lose a few.....when it comes to hogs.

Cary

Bushmaster · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:52 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

Good to see ya up and around. Always good to see ya on here.

stovepipe · Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:55 pm Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone

Hog's is dangerous game. Out here they get over $1000.00 to hunt them on private land. They are pests, but, they wise up and move onto fenced land. Then, land owners sell tickets to hunters etc. and so on. Then there's the tusk fee- by the inch. And a dressout disposal fee. What jip. Rather take that dough and head east and visit some friends and pop some for a whole lot less.