A very attractive woman goes up to the bar at a quiet, rural pub. She
gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he
arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to
hers.

When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak with him," she says, running her
hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, popping
her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to gently suck on them.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers softly, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in
the ladies room,"

Now that'll do it...

yuckky poo

grotty.......funny but GROTTY